


mon amour profond et doux comme la mer

by kinneret



Series: tides and constellations [2]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Best Friends, Companion Piece, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Introspection, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Angst, Oblivious Nerds, Pining, Porn with Feelings, References to Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 17:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7232086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneret/pseuds/kinneret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sami's memory for details isn't always great--he likes to paint in broad strokes, both literally and metaphorically, so he doesn't obsess as much over things--but he remembers every moment of that first day vividly. The sudden hush in the Performance Center when Devitt walks in, and the way his shoulders tense when he notices. The way he subtly shakes out the tension and puts on his game face as he introduced to so many people, pouring out energy to match their own. The intensity of his crystalline gaze when he turns in towards Sami, appraising but still warm, and the way that Sami feels his stomach drop when they shake hands with a firm grip. </p><p>"It's so good to meet you, finally," he says wryly, the accent dancing its way into Sami's ears. </p><p>"It's awesome to meet you," Sami replies honestly, his voice a little awed, and he doesn't think he will ever forget the bright relief of the smile that answers him. </p><p>(Sami-centric companion piece to "drowning lessons" with events before and after those in the original.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. pour troubler le repos où mon âme était mise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SapphoIsBurning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphoIsBurning/gifts), [MagicMalcolm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMalcolm/gifts).



> The overall title translates to "my love deep and sweet as the sea." This chapter title translates to "to disturb the rest where my soul was put."
> 
> (Piece and chapter titles from lines in the lovely poem "Les Bijoux" by Charles Baudelaire. Bonus points if you spot the references to it within the piece. All translations from the French by me.)

It seems like a dream in the beginning, hazy and just out of reach, that after years of watching Prince Devitt's matches and wanting to face him in the ring, the man signs with the WWE. The announcement is met with thrilled disbelief on the part of the NXT crew, and many wrestlers start chatting about the experiences they've had with him and how excited they are to reconnect. The hive buzzes constantly with Devitt's name in the two months it takes for him to arrive, and Sami feels like he cannot have a single conversation that doesn't reference him in some way. He loses track of how many times he has to say, _No, we never really met—we kept missing each other._ He doesn't know why it bothers him to think about that—it shouldn't, it happens—but he finds that he's less excited than everyone else and a whole lot more apprehensive. 

A week before Devitt's arrival, when the anticipation has created enough tension that it feels like something's going to snap, Becky runs into the Performance Center, beelining towards Sami, phone in hand. "Devitt's been talking about you," she announces without preamble, smiling, before tilting the screen in his direction. _We kinda missed each other, played crisscross, but never had a chance to lock up on the independent circuit, so that’d be something I’d really look forward to._ Sami reads the words multiple times, can't believe that they're connected to his name, can't believe that he's not the only one who's thought about it. He can feel Becky watching him the entire time, so he tries to play it off like he's reading other parts of the article, but his eyes remain glued on the last five words. 

"That's awesome," he says when he finds his voice again, returning her phone. "I'm looking forward to it too." _If I keep saying that,_ he thinks, _maybe it will be true._ And it's not that he's not excited, thrilled even, at the prospect of meeting Devitt in the ring—but there is nervousness and trepidation and a bit of intimidation in there too. Sami's told himself for a long time that he never got to wrestle Devitt because he wasn't ready, because he wasn't good enough, and it starting to feel like a pipe dream at this point. 

And, well. Then Devitt shows up. 

Sami's memory for details isn't always great—he likes to paint in broad strokes, both literally and metaphorically, so he doesn't obsess as much over things—but he remembers every moment of that first day vividly. The sudden hush in the Performance Center when Devitt walks in, and the way his shoulders tense when he notices. The way he subtly shakes out the tension and puts on his game face as he introduced to so many people, pouring out energy to match their own. The intensity of his crystalline gaze when he turns in towards Sami, appraising but still warm, and the way that Sami feels his stomach drop when they shake hands with a firm grip. 

"It's so good to meet you, finally," he says wryly, the accent dancing its way into Sami's ears. 

"It's awesome to meet _you_ ," Sami replies honestly, his voice a little awed, and he doesn't think he will ever forget the bright relief of the smile that answers him. It lights up Devitt's entire face and kindles a mischievous spark in his eyes that Sami wants to become more acquainted with. 

For the next few weeks, having Devitt in NXT is everything Sami never let himself wish it would be. Devitt immediately steps into a mentor role with some of the younger wrestlers while seeking feedback on his own work, and it's obvious to everyone that he is absolutely thirsty to do his absolute best for himself and for the brand. Sami's bowled over by it, to be honest, especially when he spends some time with the guy one-on-one. For all that he's absolutely captivating in the ring, he's so _real_ in person—quiet and observant and fiercely intelligent. Every so often he breaks the silent with something poignant and insightful, and it gets Sami every time. He finds that he's just as awed by Devitt as a person as he is by him as a wrestler, but the intimidation that would usually accompany that awe doesn't follow—he makes Sami feel at ease around him with his warmth and his wit, and so Sami finds himself having a smaller bubble around him. 

But of course it cannot last. Kevin arrives a month after Devitt, and the minute he walks in Sami feels like he's forgotten how to breathe. He remembers every barb Kevin has lobbied at him, every moment of the two years that they fought one another, and remembers how they somehow tried to stay friends through it—but this feels different. There's a steelier edge to Kevin now, and that hungry, almost feral look in his eyes isn't feigned. Kevin and Devitt high-five and start reminiscing, the energy in the room electric, and the ease between them makes Sami feel like an ocean separates him from them yet again. It's enough to remind him that he's given up on his Devitt hopes a long time ago, that he's made peace with not being on that level, and he withdraws to the comfort of Bayley's side. 

Returning to watching Devitt from afar does not feel as familiar as it should, probably because they were within each other's bubble for a few exciting weeks. He tells himself that it's fine, that it doesn't matter—he's got his friends and Devitt's just a guy anyway. But he knows the luster hasn't worn off when he finds himself completely entranced by the way Devitt gestures animatedly when choreographing a match. He, along with everyone else at the Performance Center, watches the grace with which he moves in the ring, fluid and feline. There is something so alive in him in those moments, so primal, that Sami wants to throw himself at it—at _him_ —guided only by his instincts and the thought is absolutely terrifying. So he takes a step back, and another, until he can breathe again... and then keeps watching, for yet another month. 

It doesn't hurt to be at arm's length, not really, until the end of September. The sweltering heat of the Floridian summer's finally dissipating into the year-round heat, but Devitt doesn't seem to be used to it yet—he always walks in looking flushed and glistening, the sheen of sweat still clinging to his skin. It makes his eyes look all the brighter, a startling blue that reminds Sami of the waters at the port of Montréal and takes his breath away a little bit more each time, and Sami would be lying if he said that he hasn't let his eyes trace the path of the new freckles dotted across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Sami's staring at him out of the corner of his eye one of those more temperate days when Devitt walks over to him with a sparkle in his eye, a smile opening up his expression. 

"I have a name," he announces, looking proud. 

"Is it very Irish?" Sami asks before he can stop himself. 

He laughs, nodding, the sparkle in his eyes spreading throughout his face. "Yeah. Finn Bálor." 

Sami has to force his tongue to unstick itself from the roof of his mouth—he could hear this man say Bálor with that gentle lilt for the rest of his life, and that's not a thought he wants to entertain. "For Finn McCool, I assume," he can hear himself saying once he can finally speak. 

Devitt— _Finn, now,_ Sami reminds himself—looks delighted that Sami gets the reference. "Yes! And Bálor for Demon King. Thinking of that as the alter ego." 

He blinks at him. "You thinking about bringing the body paint with you?" 

Finn nods, looking a little unsure. "I think so? I mean, I want to. It's such a part of me, y'know? But it really depends on whether I can sell management on a body-painted alter ego with a complicated entrance." 

"Hunter likes that about you," Sami murmurs. "The creativity and the showmanship, I mean. I think he'll be into it." 

He beams in response—there really is no other way to describe it—and Sami feels like a hot stone has been dropped in his stomach, searing and heavy, anchoring him to the ground where he stands. 

"Thanks, mate," Finn says brightly, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'll work on a concept and see where it goes." 

Sami thinks that's the end of it, that he and Finn have had a moment and he's going to be able to close that door—but the next day Finn and Kevin walk in together, chatting, and Finn waves him over. Sami cannot help his apprehension ,bitter in his mouth and heavy in his throat, but he walks over anyway. Finn follows his movements with his gaze, and smiles in welcome when they make eye contact. As soon as Sami's reached them, Finn squeezes his shoulder and continues talking to Kevin, weaving Sami into the conversation seamlessly. He bridges the distance between Sami and Kevin, literally and metaphorically opening his arms to do it, and the warmth planted in Sami's stomach the previous day begins spreading through his chest and over his shoulders, until it feels like his heart is enveloped in a warm hug. He finds that he can talk to Kevin with Finn between them, and it's not until he's made his way back home that his brain supplies the word _safe_ to describe the sensation that Finn's presence has brought. 

As the days pass, Sami is drawn closer and closer to Finn, and it feels as inevitable as the force of a magnet on a paper clip. He is pulled in by the tide of Finn's gaze every time, and the space between them—physical and otherwise—shrinks with each interaction. He calls him Finn exclusively now, making his eyes crinkle with the force of his smile, and turns the name over in his mouth whenever he catches sight of him. _Finn_. It feels heady on his tongue, and a little sharp, like the scent of bergamot that sometimes wafts towards him when Finn's just had his tea. He thinks of how the lines in Finn's body are so sharp and his features so chiseled but his voice is so soft, deep and rumbling and gentle like waves lapping at the shore. Finn's open arms after a sparring session feel like an invitation that Sami doesn't know how to refuse, and their hug is sweaty and longer than expected, the warmth of it lingering on Sami's skin long after he's stepped in the shower. 

He learns what Finn likes, how much space he needs, what his smile looks like when he's genuinely happy. He learns to read the storms in Finn's eyes, accurately diagnosing a mood with a simple exchange of gazes. He learns to read the mischief in the lines of Finn's body, and to hear the joy in his laugh. He learns how comforted Finn seems to be by his touch, how much he wants it to linger, how easy it feels to be so close to him that there is barely enough room for them to breathe air that doesn't belong to each other. He learns that Finn can draw pretty well, and that he keeps a sketchbook nearby for body paint ideas but also to capture moments that he wants to hang on to—Bayley's smile as Hunter praises her, the looks Carmella and Cass exchange when no one is looking, Sasha's soft smile and gentle gaze when she's looking at the ring.

Finn spends time with other people—of course he does—but he keeps gravitating towards Sami a little more each day. They start hanging out on days off, sprawled all over each other's couches, and Finn shares his Lego collection with equal parts nervousness and pride. Sami cooks for them sometimes, especially when he's homesick, and Finn picks up random words in Arabic with wide-eyed enthusiasm. As autumn sets in, Sami misses everything about Montréal—the crisp air, the colors in the leaves, the warm beverages—and it makes him moody and taciturn. So Finn tells him about Bray, about the song the of the sea and the weight of the humid air that leaves his clothes damp. He tells him everything that makes him homesick, and Sami wishes that he could hang on to more, but it's really difficult to focus on anything other than the rise and fall of his voice, impossibly musical as he reminisces about the sounds of his own land. Sami's never been to Ireland, but he thinks he can hear and feel and taste it in Finn's voice. 

Winter arrives with nary a cold breeze, and Sami finds that at this point he and Finn are orbiting each other like satellites, mirroring each other's body language and adjusting their positions to give each other space even when they are not directly interacting with each other. His life has a Finn-shaped space now, one that is full to the brim with this man's strength and generosity and quiet, sparkling wit. It is too much and not enough all at once, and it disrupts the resigned tranquility that Sami has built for himself—but he finds that he doesn't mind, not really, not when it means he gets to have Finn. So he tells himself that this good, that this is great, and wills himself to stop overthinking it.


	2. lui donnait l'air vainqueur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their closeness grows even as the tides around them ebb and flow—until it doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title translates to "which gave [him] a victorious air."
> 
> (Piece and chapter titles from lines in the lovely poem "Les Bijoux" by Charles Baudelaire. Bonus points if you spot the references to it within the piece. All translations from the French by me.)

After weeks of thinking about nothing except for the R Evolution TakeOver, it catches Sami by surprise when the day finally dawns. It seems a day like no other except for the fact that by the time he's awake he's already received several texts from Finn, the last two being only emojis, and the mix of nervousness and anticipation in his own chest is expressed very eloquently in Finn's words. They FaceTime while Sami putters around the kitchen, too wired to make himself a proper breakfast but too well-trained to avoid it altogether. Finn's face looks a little hazy on the iPhone screen, as if he himself is unsure what expression to settle in his features, but Sami finds so much comfort in the lullaby of his voice that he doesn't point it out. Instead, he contents himself with smiling at the screen so often, nodding when appropriate and humming to himself the rest of the time, and it's not until he's sat down with his food that he realizes he and Finn have been on each other's screen in perfect silence for several minutes. The surprise must show on his face, because Finn smiles at him from behind his steaming mug. 

"Sorry to space out," Sami says finally, ducking his head. "I can leave you if—"

"Not your fault I'm just running my mouth," Finn replies wryly, looking down at the contents of his mug. "I'm just a little frantic." 

Sami nods, pushing his eggs around his plate. "How about we meet up at Full Sail early? No point in being nervous at home if we can just go be nervous over there." 

He doesn't quite know what to do with the beaming smile Finn gives him as he agrees, or the lingering hug he greets him with about an hour later, or the way Finn leads him through the back to his dressing room space already prepared for the body paint airbrush session. Sami's seen Finn's design for this already—he's seen multiple iterations of it, actually, as Finn and the artist worked out the details—but it's different to stand in this small room now, with the sketchbook flipped open to the design and the paint waiting to meet skin. The air is a little thicker, a little heavier, and when he turns to look at Finn there is a buzz in his ears that threatens to outdo the volume of his inner monologue. 

"You're on after me," Finn says quietly, a small hesitation apparent in the breathiness of his voice. "Would you come sit with me while I get the paint on?"

He looks away from the searing weight of Finn's gaze and nods, and he can hear the smile in Finn's voice when he murmurs an _awesome_ in Sami's general direction. It is with that murmur in mind that he tears his gaze away from a monitor a while later and drags himself over to Finn's space as Kevin's match is set to begin. Finn's already sitting shirtless, and the artist is working on the tail across his shoulders and down his back. He looks up at the sound of the door and smiles at Sami, unguarded and happy, and waves him over. The artist sighs through his nose, a sharp exhale that draws Sami's eyes off Finn's face and over to the man behind him. 

"Thank God you're here to distract him because he is really fidgety right now."

"You'd think I've never done this," Finn whispers as Sami approaches, craning his neck to look up at him while keeping his shoulders as still as possible. "But since it's the first time for NXT..." 

Sami drags a chair over and sits in front of him, grinning, and asks Finn to talk him through the design one more time. His strategy works—Finn's eyes are sparkling as he begins describing his thought process, and he's so engrossed in it that he barely notices when the artist starts working on the side of his neck, moving towards the front. By the time the artist reaches his face and Finn has to shut up, Sami knows that he is witnessing something incredible. The man he knows as Finn has begun to recede, and his every motion has a sharper edge now. He remembers Finn's explanation for the alter egos he has painted onto himself— _a way to channel something that's buried deep down inside_ —and it is so fitting that Finn's expressive face fades into the paint that transforms him into an otherwordly creature. 

When it's finally done and the artist steps away, the silence between them shifts from comfortable to entirely too still, and Sami finds himself fidgeting as he searches Finn's face. When he opens his eyes, there is something wild in them, and Sami doesn't quite understand why it makes him ache. Finn inclines his head in his general direction, his intense gaze never leaving Sami's, and that look burns its way down his limbs. The residual heat of that gaze only intensifies as he watches Finn work with Hideo in their match, Finn's movements voltaic and primeval, and it stays with him all the way through to the women's championship match when he encounters it again. Finn is walking over to the shower, having just finished his post promo with Hideo, and he pauses near Sami. 

"You've got this," he says gruffly, still not entirely himself, his eyes a fierce, electric blue. 

"I know," he replies with a confidence he doesn't feel, but then Finn grins in his direction and claps him on the shoulder as he walks past. Sami stands up straighter after that, beginning to slide into the zone for his own match, and he keeps thinking of that grin and that clap and the unshakable belief in him that accompanied it. He's flying high on it as he makes his way to the ring, his entire body thrumming with energy as he waits to get started. His match against Neville is everything he hoped it would be—intense and acrobatic and absolutely breathtaking—and Sami remembers nothing except how alive it makes him feel. For an incredible twenty plus minutes, nothing exists except for the ring and the roar of the crowd—until he hears a three-count as he's pinning Neville and his entire world explodes.

The crowd is screaming and the locker room begins to pour out to celebrate with him, but his entire world is reduced to the sight of Kevin racing past other people to reach the ring. Sami backs into the nearest corner, stumbling slightly, but Kevin pulls him into a hell a hug and everything around him brightens. He's soon hugging other people and being lifted on shoulders, everything is a blur of noise and color and light, and he can feel himself mouthing _I did it_ more to himself than to anyone else. Still on that high, he lets Kevin lead him away from the ring, and he is almost unsurprised when Kevin grabs him by the neck and slams him down the first time, stabbing him with the sliver of hope he had just giving him. The betrayal feels old and dusty on his lips, nigh comforting in its familiarity, and he almost welcomes the bleak mental quiet that follows the powerbomb against the apron. 

He knows he says something to Hunter on his way out the door, and that he answers questions for the doctors, but it's not until he's in a room staying overnight for observation that he really focuses on anything again. He knows people are there—he remembers Enzo's leopard spots, Cass' lopsided ponytail, Bayley's shaky smile, and Finn's guarded gaze—and he tells them he's fine, that they should go and rest, that he'll see them at the Performance Center soon. He hears footsteps shuffle out, then feels cool metal under his hand as Finn's squeezes it. "Here's your belt, champ," he murmurs. "Be well." Sami nods slowly, keeping his eyes closed, and dozes between doctor check-ins. He thinks he sees Finn in the background a time or two, but he can't be sure, and when morning comes and he feels like himself again there is no one left in the room. Bayley comes to pick him up later in the day, insisting on driving him home, and he finds that Finn is waiting by the car with a wordless hug that warms Sami down to his toes. 

The Performance Center looks the same upon his return, but it feels more foreign than it did the first time he stepped there. Conversations sometimes stop when he walks past, although everyone goes out of their way to be friendly and welcoming. But there is pity in some of their eyes, and he can't pretend he doesn't resent that they've begun to treat him like he is impossibly fragile. He finds solace in the fact that Enzo and Cass and Carmella and Bayley treat him the same, and that Becky curses out Kevin under her breath whenever someone so much as mentions him. And, while Finn doesn't treat him differently, he knows things between them have shifted—he can read it in the set of Finn's shoulders when Kevin is nearby, in the tightening of his jaw, in the coolness of his gaze. More often than not, it is Finn who shields him from Kevin's gaze, and the arms that previously bridged the distance between the two old friends have become the boundary that keeps them separate. 

Sami wishes he had the words to thank Finn, to explain, but there is something in Finn's eyes that tells him that he understands. Sami doesn't quite know what to do with that, or with the way Finn flanks him as they walk, his shoulders tense and his head held high in a silent challenge. So he slogs through the next two months with Finn by his side, letting other people's holiday cheer carry him through the New Year so he can start getting ready for the next TakeOver. He puts his title on the line in a match with Kevin that he hopes will end whatever it is that's happening between them, a move he knows is more than a little reckless and maybe even desperate, and the heft of Finn's disapproval is almost impossible to wield. But Finn shoulders it for both of them, holding his tongue, and Sami is content to watch him fight for a chance to face him for the title. 

When TakeOver: Rival dawns, Sami drowns his nerves in caffeine—Enzo's idea, and perhaps not the best he's had—and heads towards the dressing rooms to find Finn. He's in front of the mirror, the final touches on his body paint being applied on his shoulders while he methodically tapes his hands. Sami lingers in the doorway, watching the graceful, practiced motions, and wonders whether Finn has even noticed that he's there. As if he can hear his thoughts, Finn looks up at the mirror and catches Sami's gaze through his reflection. 

"Tonight I'm coming for Neville," he says, a little too casually as he puts the tape down, "and then I'm coming for you." 

There is mischief in his eyes—Sami couldn't unknow that if he tried—and Sami finds himself wanting to respond to it. "You or Bálor?"

"Me," he replies decidedly. "Bálor's coming for Neville, but I'm coming for you." 

Finn looks down again, cracking his knuckles, and when he looks up again the Demon has taken residence. His muscles ripple as he squares his shoulders, making the wings look like they are expanding, and Sami has to look away from the fierceness of his gaze. Sami retreats with a tilt of his head and a quiet _good luck_ , giving him space and settling backstage with Enzo and Cass to watch Finn's match. From the moment his theme starts, Bálor is evident in every one of his moves, and Sami finds that he is not the only one mesmerized. The match is as intense as can be expected when two strong men who are also very aerodynamic fight against each other, and Sami is on the edge of his seat the entire time. The euphoria at Finn's win is contagious, and Enzo's arm is heavy across Sami's shoulders as he shouts "You and Bálor next" over the roar of their friends' celebration. 

"I'm coming for you next," Finn reminds him with a smirk, wiping away body paint as they watch the women's match. Sami's nerves seem to catch fire at the certainty in Finn's words, and the sparks make him giddy and loosen his tongue. 

"I can't wait," he admits, and he finds comfort in the fact that Finn's answering grin is soft around the edges and makes him look pleased. 

The universe, of course, decides that Sami _can_ wait for that match, as he drops the title to Kevin in a spectacularly violent fashion. He wishes the jolt of those four powerbombs wasn't so immediate in his mind, that he'd managed to blur it out with every other injury Kevin has ever bestowed on him, but even as he's wheeled out of the building yet again all he can think of is the feeling of the ground rushing up to meet him each of those times. He hears angry voices in the background, and a desperate sounding lilt off to his right, and when he reaches out and Finn squeezes his hand he feels like he's remembering how to breathe. He lets Finn's hand anchor him to the world, and he is almost ashamed of how he relieved he is when Finn takes over. When Finn insists on bringing him back to his place to recover, Sami doesn't even consider arguing—he just nods gratefully and leans into Finn's side as they walk to and from the car. 

Finn cares for him like he does everything else—intensely and with single-minded focus—and it gives Sami enough ammo to battle his own disappointment at the loss. Finn still doesn't treat him any differently, doesn't look at him with pity, doesn't make Sami feel like he's an oversized, burdensome child. They get into a routine as they share space, and Sami finds that Finn's guest room feels much more his than the apartment he's had since he got to Florida. The thought is comforting and confusing in equal measure, and it leaves Sami's mind revolving like a wobbly top at the end of its spin. As Sami recovers and begins to wonder whether he has overstayed his welcome, growing fidgety and anxious about it, Finn comments that he has too much space for himself, that he enjoys Sami's company, that they would do well as roommates. Sami remembers the practiced casualness of it, the slight flush in Finn's ears, and he finds it comforting that Finn feels awkward about it too. But he accepts—he knows it was never really a choice, not when it felt so right—and he settles into Finn's— _their_ —apartment as easily as Finn has slotted himself into every part of Sami's life. 

The best part of the move, Sami thinks, is the fact that it puts an additional barrier between him and Kevin—the fact that he arrives and leaves the Performance Center with Finn on a daily basis means that he's rarely without Finn unless he's in the ring, and if Finn is wrestling there's always someone else near Sami to act as a buffer. He doesn't know if Finn asked them or if they have naturally flocked to his side, but he isn't complaining—for the first time in a long time, he feels like he can close his eyes and fall and know that there will be many hands to catch him and hold him for as long as he needs them to. And in the meantime, Finn's solid and steady by his side, his mere presence soothing Sami's frayed nerves when he's down and helping him focus his energy when he's up. On the worst days, Finn helps him feel substantial—and on the best he makes him feel invincible. It's something Sami hadn't let himself hope for, so he tries to not think about it and just revels in the feeling, wrapping it around himself like a blanket. 

He and Finn don't talk about Kevin, not even as Finn gears up for his title match against him. Finn trains harder, pushes himself until he's shaking and exhausted, but he still spends time unwinding with Sami when he gets home. Sami watches Finn get ready on the night of the match with his usual quiet intensity, and he doesn't address the upcoming battle until he realizes that Finn isn't going to wear any body paint for this match. His face must show his surprise, because Finn looks away from him and shrugs his shoulders. "I have to do this," he murmurs, voice uneven. "I have to do this myself." Sami nods—he gets it—and smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring way. Finn, who has been looking at him out of the corner of his eye, turns to look at him for a long moment, and Sami's breath catches as he sees the tempest in Finn's gaze clear as he looks back at him. _He looks like a champion_ , Sami thinks to himself as he walks away. _Strong and certain and centered_. 

Sami remembers that clear gaze later, relabeling it as the calm before the storm because Finn is nothing but turbulent during his match with Kevin. He watches, his heart wrenching, as Finn tweaks his left knee and powers through a _Coup de Grâce_ anyway, the lines of his body screaming desperation. Sami silently prays for Finn to make the cover, but the burning in his throat as he watches Finn writhe presages the outcome of the match. He tears his gaze from the screen—he doesn't need to see Kevin powerbomb someone else—and prepares himself to be the anchor in tempestuous seas this time. It isn't until hours later, when they're sitting side by side on the couch in the darkness of their apartment, that he feels himself recoil as if struck when he hears Finn's voice break as he whispers, "I'm sorry I couldn't get it back and hold onto it for you." Their ragged breathing is the only sound in the room for a few minutes until Sami reaches out blindly, murmuring Finn's name, and Finn leans into his touch so they can cling to one another in the light-less silence.

Finn doesn't treat him any differently the next morning, or the day after that, but somehow somewhere things change between them. The air grows thick and laden with tension, making every touch feel more electric, and Finn begins to withdraw into himself in ways that Sami has never seen. The circles under his eyes grow darker, the set of his jaw grows sharper, and sometimes when he thinks Sami's not looking he stares at his own hands as if they belonged to someone else. He throws himself into work desperately, as if it is water he has to tread so he won't drown, and even when they're sitting next to one another Sami has never felt so alone. "Becky says he does this sometimes," Bayley tells him one morning, tilting her head in Finn's direction, but Sami hears the uncertainty in her voice. So he throws himself into his preparation for his match against Kevin, lets Finn worry about regaining his place as number one contender, and pretends that he's not lying awake thinking about the ever-growing distance between them.


	3. les choses où le son se mêle à la lumière

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension breaks, finally, and their relationship changes—just in time for both of their worlds to be turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title translates to "things where sound is mingled with light." It also has a reference to the song that titled the original, in case you want to try to spot it. :)
> 
> (Piece and chapter titles from lines in the lovely poem "Les Bijoux" by Charles Baudelaire. Bonus points if you spot the references to it within the piece. All translations from the French by me.)

It's not until their last day off before TakeOver: Unstoppable that the tension becomes so dense that Sami's afraid he's going to choke on it. Finn is so far back into his shell that Sami wonders if there is anything he can do to reach him at this point, particularly as their usually chirpy game of Monopoly has been marked by a strained stillness. He is almost ashamed of the relief he feels when Bayley texts him to tell him she's on her way with Starbucks, and he hopes that her happy personality will bring at least some of the sparkle back into Finn's eyes. But he finds himself regretting the thought when Finn agrees to be kidnapped by Bayley—agrees for both of them, even—and volunteers to take the small seat in the trunk of the SUV to give everyone more room. Even around all of these people, Finn is isolating himself from Sami, and the thought hurts more than he thought it would. 

The sudden chill in Sami's chest intensifies when Finn sits apart from everyone else at the Port, tension evident in his posture whenever he hears Sami approach. It isn't until Carmella sits down next to Finn, however, that the chill travels up his throat and explodes into full panic. It's not just that Finn's pulling away from everyone, although he is, but he is specifically pulling away from _Sami_ , almost like he's wishing him away. The thought makes Sami feel impossibly small, and he finds himself withdrawing from the rest group much like Finn has. No amount of worried glances from Carmella and lame jokes from Bayley clear his mind, and as they approach The Cove it is sheer instinct that drives him to complete Bayley's bracket on the other side of Finn, giving him space from the crowd. Finn's open expression at the restaurant, a clear invitation, lets Sami find his words again, and relief loosens the knot in his throat when Finn replies and acts more like himself throughout dinner. 

Sami's almost completely relaxed, his shoulder resting against Finn's, when Bayley asks Finn to split ice cream with her. He's amused by Finn's reply because he could have predicted it down to the term of endearment, and the normalcy of it is a pleasant hum. But then Bayley's reply— _Then how can you handle Sami?_ —makes his brain buzz loudly, and he starts shifting away from Finn automatically. Finn, whose startled laugh is the only thing that pierces the haze in Sami's brain, reaches out and places a gentle hand on Sami's knee, squeezing in reassurance, and Sami feels like he's going to be sick. Without a word, Finn has recognized the comment's impact on him and reached out to steady him despite all the weirdness between them, and Sami realizes that he doesn't want to lose this, whatever it is—he doesn't want to lose _Finn_. 

He should be surprised—this isn't exactly something he's been thinking about—but he finds that he isn't. Finn's wormed his way into his heart as seamlessly as he's made space for Sami in his home and his life, and Sami knows that Finn's so easy to love that this was really a foregone conclusion all along. The only surprise, then, is that he hasn't had to face it before. He's explained their closeness away with a shrug and the refrain _Finn is my best friend_ , but he knows that the way he's cataloged every one of Finn's smiles and matched every gaze to the feeling behind it is anything but friendly. The fear that things between are fucked up—that _he's_ fucked them up—returns then, icy and jagged. Is it possible that every comment Bayley and Carmella have made about he and Finn is because they have known all along? Is he that obvious? Does Finn know? Is that why everything is weird between them? 

He forces himself to talk to Finn on the drive back, behaving as normally as he can, and Finn's clear fondness dulls the sting of his fear. They gaze at each other for a long time, and Sami wishes that the interior of the SUV wasn't so dark so he could read Finn's gaze like he normally does and maybe find some answers. By the time they get back to their apartment, Sami has begun sharpening his courage to talk to Finn because damn it, Finn has spent the better part of the last year being so careful of Sami and Sami's feelings that the thought that Finn might be putting himself through something uncomfortable just to spare him makes Sami want to scream. But as they sit on the couch, it's clear that Finn isn't ready to stop protecting him, because he takes the lead, opens the conversation, and shoulders the blame. 

Sami knows he could let him do it, could retreat and never tell Finn that he's discovered that he loves him—but the thought that he might lose Finn if they don't talk about whatever's happening gives him the strength to push back. "It's about me, though." 

Finn shakes his head. "No, no, Sami, we're..." 

"You've been weird for weeks," he interrupts in the same flat tone, clasping his hands on his lap so they'll stop shaking. "You don't look at me the same, and you look away more often, and you've been stuck inside your own head around me." He waits for Finn to contradict him, and the panic flares up again when it's clear that Finn can't. "If it's something I did, just tell me. _Please._ " 

Finn reaches for his shoulder, tries to reassure him, but the panic has taken hold of Sami and he doesn't hear a single word. "But we're friends, right?" he questions after a pause. Sami hates how small his voice sounds, and knows that the tightening of Finn's grip on his shoulder means that he heard it too. 

"You're my best friend," Finn tells him, his voice rough, as he shifts closer to Sami. "That's why I don't want to fuck anything up." 

Sami is relieved to recognize the fearful desperation in Finn's voice—he doesn't want to lose this either, that's clear, and it helps Sami breathe again to know that he's important to the person who's become the center of his universe. "Then why would you think that I would turn my back on you? That I wouldn't want to help, even if it's just listening? I'm not that guy, Finn."

"I've done it all arseways, haven't I?" Finn blurts out, his voice uneven, as he pulls away from Sami. "I wanted to keep you out of it so I wouldn't upset you, but I did it anyway. I've hurt you anyway." 

Sami leans towards Finn, hands clenching and unclenching uselessly as he forces himself not to reach out. "I didn't... please don't feel guilty. I'm not trying to upset you. I just... I want to work this out." 

Finn opens his eyes and his gaze looks so broken that Sami's breath is knocked out of his lungs, and Finn's face falls even as his own does. Finn looks at him with that devastated expression for another moment before bowing his head, and the words rush out of him like a dam has broken. "I never thought I would get so close to anyone here, and then you came around, a goddamn ray of sunshine, and I was helpless. You were already very much everything there is to be admired about NXT, and I had my New Japan reputation preceding me, but when you shook my hand that first day we weren't Sami Zayn and Finn Bálor—we were just two lads excited about wrestling. You treated me like I was a person, full stop, from the very first moment. And that's... that's been awesome, Sami, and it's so special. I don't think you understand how special that is in this business sometimes." 

Sami shifts to face Finn, and even though Finn isn't looking up at him he must sense the movement because he also shifts until they're facing one another on the couch. "You're my best friend," Finn continues, "and that's fucking awesome, Sami, it really is. But I just... I can no longer pretend I don't want more." Sami flinches—he was expecting a lot of things but this wasn't one of them—and when Finn's hands curl around his biceps he feels like he's been burned. Finn's voice is urgent, though, so he forces himself to focus. "Not more than you, Sami, there's no such thing." The tension begins to drain from his body as the words sink in—Finn doesn't think he's not enough, that's not true, Finn just called him his best friend for fuck's sake—but his relief turns to confusion as Finn keeps talking. "I mean I want more _with_ you, and it's driving me mad." 

Sami's mind is spinning with questions and possibilities, but he forces himself to put them aside so he can reach for Finn's hands and squeeze them, the break in Finn's voice resonating in his ears. "Finn," he says with a shaky voice, "I'm going to need you to define more." Finn's shoulders shake, and a sound too close to a sob for comfort escapes his mouth, so Sami squeezes his hands harder. "I need to know we're on the same page and talking about the same thing. _Please._ " 

Finn looks up at him, his gaze raw, and searches Sami's face. "I think I'm in love with you," he blurts out in one breath, closing his eyes again. "And I don't know how not to be." 

He freezes, trying to remember how to breathe, and loosens his grip on Finn's hands. Finn pulls away from him, curling into himself, and Sami follows the motion with his eyes before letting his gaze roam freely over Finn. It's the first time since he realized how he feels about Finn that he's letting himself look, and the fact that he could have this, that he could have _Finn_ , feels like a fragile gift he has to balance in the palm of his hand. " _Finn_ ," he says finally, voice still shaky. "Finn, I... can I kiss you?" 

Finn looks up, more questions in his eyes, and Sami finds himself moving closer, transfixed by the bright blue of Finn's gaze. He feels naked all of a sudden, like Finn can read every thought he's ever had, and a quiet _please_ makes its way out of his mouth unbidden.

"Yes," Finn says, almost a hiss. "God, yes." 

Sami doesn't stop to think—he can't, they'll be here all night—and just launches himself into Finn's arms for a kiss that he knows is going to be a mess. Finn catches him, responding with just as much enthusiasm before cradling Sami's face in his hands. He looks awed, like Sami's the greatest thing he's ever seen, and Sami doesn't know how to process that. But then Finn's kissing _him_ , pouring so much into it that Sami feels light-headed even before he's running out of air, and all he can do is whisper Finn's name between kisses, clinging to him. They shift until they're curled up side-by-side facing one another, and Sami looks into Finn's eyes and realizes that there is still some uncertainty there—he hasn't said it back. 

" _Bahebek,_ " he whispers as he presses his lips to the corner of Finn's mouth, and Finn shivers underneath his touch and looks at him with amazement all over his face. Sami smiles, sees Finn smile back, and wonders whether he's kissed all of the words out of Finn's mouth at this point. "If you don't say something I'm going to start wondering if I killed you."

Finn laughs it off, and Sami tries to play along but he finds himself overwhelmed with emotion, his gaze dropping to trace the curve of Finn's shoulder, and he feels Finn's hands sliding across his back slowly before he pulls him even closer.

"Hey, Sami... you and I, we're good, right? This bit is new, and we'll have to figure it out as we go along, but we're good. We're so good."

Finn's hands are still roaming, making Sami shiver and making it harder for him to think. "We're so good," Sami echoes after a pause, leaning even further into Finn's embrace. They kiss some more, reveling in the newness of it even as Finn offers him an out, and it's not until he feels Finn's heated hands under his shirt that he focuses again. He tries to gasp but no sound comes out, and Finn must mistake the sentiment because he pauses and begins to pull back. Sami leans in, kisses him desperately, letting his own hands roam, and he's thrilled that Finn replies in kind, crushing him to his body and exploring more of his back and chest. When Finn's nails scrape slightly at his back, almost absent-mindedly, Sami can barely recognize the noise he makes into Finn's mouth—who responds with a quiet groan before slowing things down. 

"It'll keep, Sami," Finn whispers. "I'm not going anywhere. This'll keep." 

He remembers Finn's heart against his hand, the heartbeat steady and solid, and the hammering of his own heart when Finn tells him he loves him in three different languages. He remembers reassuring Finn that he loves him precisely because he's a dork, because he does everything whole-heartedly, and the brightness of Finn's smile helps Sami quiet the noise in his head. He buries his face in Finn's shoulder, shivering, and lets himself be led to Finn's room between kisses and loving whispers. When they tumble into bed, Sami tangles his legs with Finn's, pressing himself even closer in an embrace, and he falls asleep in peace for the first time in a long time. 

***

He wishes that it was paradise from the get-go, but the shadow of TakeOver is still hovering over the two of them: Finn's up for another number one spot, and Sami's ready to get a rematch against Kevin. Sami sits with Finn while he gets his paint done, an intricate eye taking over his back, and he is warmed by the fact that Finn reaches out for his hand and clutches it as he's getting transformed. It is not until the headdress is firmly in place that Finn opens his eyes again, and Sami sees him recede to make space for Bálor—but even in Demon mode Finn is gentle as he leans in to hover near Sami, not pressing their foreheads together so he won't disturb his paint but wanting to be close to him anyway. Sami sees the artist's soft smile as he puts his supplies away, and he feels like he could soar for the rest of the night with the lightness of that joy. 

It's Becky who sits by him to watch Finn this time, since Bayley is getting ready for her tag team match, and Sami finds himself leaning into Becky with a slight wince every time that Finn hits the mat hard. "Jaysus," Becky whispers when Finn hits the turnbuckle, reaching out for Sami's hand, and he holds her hand tightly even as he bites at his other hand. Seeing Finn's last _Coup de Grâce_ fills Sami with a sense of _déjà vu_ that only dissipates when the frenzy of Finn's win takes over everyone backstage. Sami watches as Finn begins his celebration while still on his knees, shaking with emotion, and he feels his heart clench in his chest—he can't wait to celebrate with Finn once the paint has come off. Finn high-fives several of their friends as he walks backstage, smiling at the welcoming cheers, and Sami relishes in Finn's joy. He and Finn slap each other's forearms in lieu of a handshake, squeezing as they lean into each other, and they stare into one another's eyes for a long moment with identical grins. 

"Go get yours," Finn murmurs, his eyes still wild. 

Sami smirks at him. "What, so you can come get it from me later?"

"Exactly," he whispers, his voice gravelly, and Sami has to shake himself off a little as Finn walks away. He makes eye contact with Kevin, who seems to have been watching the exchange, and raises his eyebrows in a silent challenge. He can see Kevin huff from across the room, but he takes a deep breath and turns back to the monitor, focusing on Bayley and Charlotte's match. He cheers for Enzo and Cass later, and then for both Becky and Sasha with a freshly-showered Finn by his side. Finn keeps his distance as they watch, simply bumping their shoulders together when Sami's about to get ready for his match. Sami bumps him back, links their fingers together for a brief moment while smiling, and the smile stays on his face throughout his entrance.

He has a few moments during the match that he wants to hang on to—when he gets Kevin over the barricade, when he pulls a couple of 1916s in Finn's honor—but then Kevin's powerbombing him against the side of the ring and his shoulder hurts and it feels like a bad memory's come to life. He knows Kevin keeps attacking him, but he doesn't panic until Kevin's attacking William Regal for coming to his defense. _Kevin's out of control_ , he thinks in a fleeting moment of clarity, and he's starting to close his eyes and succumb to unconsciousness when Joe comes out and chases Kevin away. William and one of the security guys help him backstage, followed by the referees, and people scurry out of the way so Sami can get down the hallway. He collapses halfway down, asks for a minute, and waits until Finn and Bayley reach him. 

Bayley drops to her knees immediately, pushing water towards his lips, but Finn is hovers over him asking questions and giving orders. Sami focuses on the sharpness of Finn's voice, still so musical even when it's strained and angry. "Either you get him an ambulance or I'm driving him to the hospital to get his shoulder checked," he hears Finn say, and the security guy he's talking to takes a step back. Heavy footsteps come down the hallway— _Hunter_ , Sami's mind supplies—and Bayley's helping Sami to his feet as Finn talks to Hunter. He sees Hunter nod in their direction, and he motions for Finn to exit through the door right next to them. Between Hunter and Bayley he makes it out of the door, and he's climbing into the back of his own car a few minutes later, Bayley still by his side. 

"I've got you," she whispers. "Carmella and the boys will meet us there," she adds, louder, and Sami thinks he can see Finn nod. 

The next time he can focus on anything, his eyes are burning almost as much as his shoulder, and Finn's squeezing his right hand hard enough that he can almost forget how much his left side hurts. There's a doctor at the foot of the bed and he's talking about surgery and a long recovery time, and Sami can feel Finn's hand tremble in his—but the moment the doctor says the damage to his shoulder may be irreversible if he doesn't have the surgery soon, he and Finn both know that he's going to do it. He squeezes Finn's hand back to anchor himself, and he manages to focus on deciding details and asking Finn to stay before the pain distracts him again.

"I've asked for more painkillers," Finn whispers against his temple as he drops a kiss there. "You're going to be alright, love. I've got you." 

"I know," he murmurs, and finds that he means it. 

Once he's had surgery, which prompts entirely too many teddy bears from Carmella and her boys and more than a few tears from Bayley, he's glad to finally be back home with Finn. As the immediate stress of his injury begins to fade, his relationship with Finn develops as naturally as everything else between them has, with lingering touches and gentle words and knowing gazes. Sami discovers that he loves to tease Finn because he makes him all flustered, and he loves waking up to find that Finn is already awake and is looking at him placidly. They still aren't talking about Kevin, but Sami doesn't have to be at the Performance Center to know that the tension between them is just about ready to snap. Their match gets set for early July at the joint WWE/NXT event in Japan, The Beast in the East. They spend most of June sniping at each other, according to Bayley's hushed report, and Sami knows it to be true because Finn comes home with more tension in his body on those days. 

He finally witnesses the intensity of their feud for when Finn pins Kevin during the tag team match a few days before Tokyo. It's the first time that Kevin's been pinned in NXT, and Finn celebrates aggressively, falling to his knees and cheering, and Sami's pretty sure he did not imagine Finn's _I'm coming for you_ as he leaves the ring. Finn comes home still full of electricity, and Sami kisses him until Finn's edges soften and his heartbeat is gentle and steady again. He relishes in the warmth of Finn's skin when he stops hovering over Sami on trembling forearms and is instead cuddling into his right side, his fingers drawing patterns across Sami's chest. "I'm doing it this time," he whispers into Sami's skin, pressing a kiss to his uninjured shoulder, and Sami nods and reaches out to tangle their fingers together, reveling in the quiet. He wants to bottle this bit of peace so he can hold it close to his chest during the storm that will inevitably follow, if only so he can offer its balm to soothe Finn. But as it is, he files it in his memory next to place where he stores the innocence in Finn's face when he sleeps and the way he says _I love you_ against Sami's skin like he's discovering the words for the first time.


	4. ce monde rayonnant de métal et de pierre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their relationship grows even with Kevin's large shadow looming between them, and the NXT Championship turns out to be the catalyst their fire needs to swell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter title translates to "this radiant world of metal and stone." 
> 
> (Piece and chapter titles from lines in the lovely poem "Les Bijoux" by Charles Baudelaire. Bonus points if you spot the references to it within the piece. All translations from the French by me.)

After so many conversations with doctors and trainers that Sami cannot really recall any particular one, he ends up flying to Tokyo with Paige's boyfriend, insistent on not missing Finn's triumphant return to Japan. The long and often uncomfortable flight is entirely worth it to see the brightening of Finn's gaze when he welcomes Sami to the hotel, the joy in his face when he shows Sami around his second home, and the way he gazes at Sami like he is something precious. That adoring look in Finn's eyes is even more apparent as he he leads Sami through new experiences in Tokyo, never once making him feel stupid for not knowing something or for having any hesitations, and it makes Sami feel warm all over even when they're in a building with the air conditioning turned all the way up. 

On the morning of the special, he wakes up to find Finn already awake and watching him with a sparkle in his eyes and a gentle smile. Sami blinks at him slowly, vision still hazy in the soft morning light, and he feels one of Finn's hands tangle in his hair while the other cups his cheek. "G'morning," he mumbles, leaning in to kiss Sami's forehead. 

"Not yet," Sami grumbles under his breath, burrowing deeper into the blankets and Finn's embrace, then feels Finn's smile widen against his forehead. 

"It'll keep," Finn reminds him, chuckling, but he hangs on to Sami a little tighter and lets every kiss linger. 

The arena air is already heavy with anticipation when they arrive, and for the first time since he's been thinking about this special Sami finds that he wishes he was going to be in the ring. Finn reaches out to squeeze his hand, as if he can hear Sami's thoughts, and he lets Finn's hand steady him as they walk down to Finn's dressing room. Sami leans against the wall as Finn changes, his eyes following every movement, and he's glad that the artist arrives shortly after because his hands ache to touch Finn, to press himself as close to him as possible and never let go. Finn must see it in his face because his smile blossoms into something more playful as he sits to get his back done, and he motions for Sami to sit closer so he can hang on to him as his back is airbrushed with a traditional Japanese demon and the kanji for _demon prince_. 

His body paint is the most elaborate it's been yet, and Sami is content to sit quietly with him while the transformation happens. Finn becomes more regal and more intimidating as the artist works, and by the time he's closed his eyes to get his face done, Sami already feels the presence of the Demon. He lets him lead the way out of the dressing room, watching as people move out of the way to give him space, and the electricity in the air is crackling as his theme begins. The energy of the crowd is infectious, and Sami's glad he gets to sit backstage to watch the match, although he wishes for Becky or Bayley's hands to hold as he watches Bálor kick out time after time despite how much of a beating he's taken from Kevin. Sami knows that vicious look in Kevin's eyes, knows what follows it, so he closes his eyes and prays quietly for this match to end soon, and he opens his eyes just in time to see Finn's winning sequence.

Sami jumps up and raises his arms in celebration as soon as he hears that "three," wincing a little as he jostles his shoulder, and he knows he will likely be hoarse long before Finn makes it to the back. And it is clearly Finn again; the tension has ebbed out of his body and he no longer looks like a cobra ready to strike. He watches as Finn offers Kevin a handshake, an offer to bury the hatchet if Sami's ever seen one, and he knows Kevin is going to rebuff it even before he does. Finn tenses, his gaze becoming sharper, and Sami holds his breath—but Finn lets it go and concentrates on celebrating with the crowd instead. Sami sends out another silent prayer, this time full of gratitude, and high-fives several of their colleagues as the backstage area continues screaming joyfully. 

By the time Finn's made his way backstage and done his celebratory promo, Sami has retreated to Finn's dressing room to get away from all the noise and the lights. Sami paces the length of room, breathing deeply to try and control his racing heart, and waits for him to arrive. When the door opens to reveal an exhausted Finn, body paint smeared everywhere and the NXT belt around his waist, Sami forgets about being gentle on his shoulder and he crashes into Finn's arms. He can feel Finn kick the door closed behind him, so he presses Finn against it and inhales deeply, eyes closed. 

"I'm so proud of you," he gasps into Finn's shoulder, and he can feel Finn tremble in his embrace.

"I did it," he replies, amazement evident even in his breathlessness. "I did it."

Finn pulls away a little, looking dazedly at him, and Sami kisses away whatever breath is left in Finn’s lungs. His hands tangle in Finn's hair, tugging lightly, and he smiles against Finn's mouth as soon as he feels Finn's hands slip under his shirt. He doesn't want to stay to find out the outcome of the last match—all he can think about is celebrating the new NXT champion, _his_ champion. He says as much to Finn once he's showered and changed, and he knows he doesn't imagine how Finn's eyes darken as he presses his hand into the small of Sami's back and ushers him through the backstage area and out the door. The heat of Finn's touch burns through Sami's shirt as they make their way back to the hotel, and he has to count to triple digits in his head to try and steady his breathing. They tumble into the hotel room, hands pawing at each other's clothes, and when Sami asks him to keep the belt on Finn makes a sound at the back of his throat that makes Sami shiver. He relishes in making Finn repeat that noise, and in drawing a symphony of other noises out of him as he peels his clothes off. Finn is keyed up in ways that Sami knows have more to do with the way he's taking charge than with the match itself, so he lets himself get carried away with want and follows Finn's cues right into a free fall. 

Sami narrates the evening to himself, wanting to commit every touch to memory, every sound, every taste. He wills himself to remember the rippling of Finn's muscles under his hands, the way Finn clings to his shoulders when Sami rakes his teeth across Finn's throat, the feel of sharp hipbones under his fingertips, and the way the salty tang of sweat mixes with the bright taste of Finn on his tongue. Later, when the high has faded and exhaustion has dragged Finn into a deep sleep, Sami gazes at him for a long time, cataloging his features and wondering how Finn can stand to shine so bright. It makes him anxious for long moment, makes his heartbeat quicken, but Finn reaches for him even in sleep and the feeling in Sami's chest never gets to blossom into panic. His dreams are vivid and colorful that night, a fact he only remembers when he wakes up to soft light beginning to spread across the room, but his brain seems to decide that it would rather remember _Finn_ and Sami is not going to argue with that determination. He watches the rise and fall of Finn's chest before inspecting his face, expression so open and content that it makes Sami feel more than a little choked up. He brushes his thumb lightly over the mark on Finn's shoulder, wincing as he realizes that it will need to be covered—but the way his touch jolts Finn awake with hunger in his eyes makes Sami glad he's left Finn with more than one reminder of their revelry. 

He lets Finn celebrate as much as he wants over the next few days, enjoying the incandescence of his smile, but he knows that it's not over—Kevin gets a rematch and he's going to make Finn's life a living hell until that's over. Finn spends more time at the gym and in his own head, and Sami presses gentle kisses to Finn's temples and holds him close when he finally makes it to bed. He knows how Kevin can get under someone's skin, as easily as if he's always been there and as painfully as if there's no room for him, and he wishes that there were something he could do to spare Finn from the worst of it. To add to Sami's anxiety about the whole thing, Kevin makes it a ladder match, knowing that Finn hasn't done one before—and, as Kevin clearly predicted, Finn doesn't back down from the challenge. He comes to bed still stuck in his own head, and Sami kisses away the furrow between Finn's eyebrows and cradles him close to his chest without a word. Finn trembles in the embrace and presses a kiss over Sami's heart, but he doesn't say anything either. 

The sniping at the Performance Center continues—Sami knows by the increasing desperation with which Finn kisses him—and the contract signing isn't much better. Finn's smiling arrogantly as Kevin runs his mouth, but Sami doesn't miss the twitch in his jaw, and he knows he doesn't imagine the aggression in his voice when he says _I've heard it all before. Everybody knows that you like to talk—but in Brooklyn, I'm going to take your words and shove them right down your throat_ before he leans over to sign. As expected, Kevin attacks Finn as soon as the ink's on paper, even going after William Regal again, but Finn gives as good as he gets and it doesn't go much further. Finn texts him as soon as he's backstage— _I'm fine, but I'm coming home early_ —and the relief burns in Sami's throat. It's not until Finn's hands are tangled in Sami's hair and his mouth is everywhere that Sami realizes that Finn is just as relieved and anxious as he is, and the thought makes him ache in ways he doesn't think he has before. 

It's not until the week of the rematch that things really seem to explode, with Kevin hanging out on a ladder and delivering a wild promo that legitimately frightens Sami. He knows Finn's been thinking about crashing Kevin's promo—he's said as much—but he knows it is inevitable when Kevin name-checks him to taunt Finn. _You think what I've done to Sami Zayn and the others was bad? Buddy, you have no idea what's coming_. Finn is already making his way ringside when Kevin throws another barb that Sami knows will get under Finn's skin, and he finds himself gripping his phone tightly as he stares at the screen. _When I'm up here, Finn Bálor will be down there, beaten, broken, with a trainer, a doctor, and a stretcher getting ready to wheel him out of the building_. Finn goes for Kevin immediately, half himself and half the Demon, and Sami holds his breath and watches Finn climb the ladder holding his title and trembling in anger. _Not only am I going to beat you for the NXT Championship, but I'm going to kick your ass and shut your mouth_. Sami shivers at the steel in Finn's voice and forces himself to not text him now, to just wait for him to come home. 

Finn arrives still fired up, seething silently, and Sami walks out into the living area after the slam of the front door isn't followed by Finn's footsteps towards their room. He sees Finn in the kitchen clutching the edge of the counter, knuckles white, and before he can get any closer Finn trembles and asks Sami for some space. Sami nods, murmurs a quiet _you know where to find me_ , and goes back to bed. He tries to doze, tries to do anything but count how much time has passed, but every minute makes him wind himself tighter and tighter, panic flashing bright behind his eyelids. _What if Kevin said something else about him? What if Finn now feels about Sami the way Kevin does?_. Sami shakes his head, tries to think about other things, and remembers the way Finn gazes at him. However Finn sees him, it is decidedly with none of Kevin's contempt, and the certainty of that helps Sami even out his breathing. When Finn finally crawls into bed hours later, he's shaking and exhausted, clinging to Sami with eyes shut tightly. Sami holds him close and kisses him—writes his worries out on Finn's skin with his hands and mouth, trembling all the while, and he's not surprised to find that when they curl into each other later they're both crying. "Promise me you're going to let this go after Brooklyn," he whispers, running his fingers through Finn's hair while holding him tightly. 

Finn nods, turning his head to kiss Sami's hand where it rests against his cheek, and closes his eyes. "I promise, love. I just need to do this," he rasps. "I need to end this." 

"I know," Sami replies, sighing, and wishes that Finn finds a way to let it go because he still hasn't. Kevin has been the shadow between them for a long time—he has been the shadow between Sami and _everyone_ —and Sami wants nothing more than to keep Finn safe from the toxicity that Kevin can bring. He knows that it is easy to fall prey to it, that Kevin is jovial at first and sarcastic after that and then he's suddenly vicious and you don't know how you ended up there but you have nowhere to go. Finn's told Sami enough that he knows that Finn shares some of his fears, some of his triggers, and Sami hopes that Kevin never holds over Finn the kind of power he holds over him. He also hopes that one day Kevin will hold no power over his emotions anymore, a hope that he hadn't allowed himself to have until Finn started filling up all of the empty spaces in Sami's life. _He's not going to fuck this up for me,_ Sami thinks fiercely, his arms tightening around Finn, and the way Finn nuzzles into Sami's collarbone before tilting his head up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw sounds like a hum of agreement—so Sami presses his thumb against Finn's mouth and stares at the sea in his eyes all the way to Brooklyn. 

***

The feeling at Barclays is absolutely electric even before most people arrive, and Sami feels like the goosebumps all over his body may never dissipate. Finn feels it too—Sami can see it in the way he's bouncing on the balls of his feet and absently drumming his fingertips on his duffel bag—so he reaches over to squeeze Finn's shoulder in the same reassuring way Finn has done for him so many times. Finn's answering smile is bashful, but it doesn't settle Sami very much since the storm in his eyes is still raging. But Finn shakes his head lightly, turning towards his dressing room, and Sami follows. His fingertips brush against Finn's as they walk side-by-side, and Sami wants to reach out to tangle their fingers together—but Finn does it first, curling his fingers to hook them onto Sami's with a half smile. As soon as they're behind the door, Finn uses their linked hands to pull Sami close and kisses him with infinite tenderness. "No matter what happens out there," Finn murmurs against Sami's mouth, sliding his fingers into his hair, "no matter what happens between Bálor and Kevin, _I'm_ coming home to you." Sami shivers, nodding slowly, and returns Finn's kiss with the same ardor. 

"I love you," he whispers, cradling Finn's face in his hands. "I love you so much. And I'm so proud of you, _habibi_."

Finn blinks at him, eyes glistening. "And I love you, _a chroí_ , heart of mine," he replies against Sami's mouth before diving in for another searing kiss. 

Sami feels like his skin is still burning with Finn's touch when the artist arrives, which makes him blush, but the artist greets him with a friendly smile and a wave as he starts setting up and Sami can't help but smile back. When he looks at Finn, he finds a fond expression written all over his face, and the warmth in his eyes and his crooked smile has Sami beaming at him. He can see the artist shake his head in the background, but the affection there is also apparent, so Sami drags his chair over and sits by Finn while the artist works. When Finn stands up and the artist airbrushes scratches on his thighs, Sami raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything—and, when he sees Finn's jaw twitch as he studies Sami's expression, Sami reaches out to squeeze Finn's hand. _It's okay,_ he wants to say. _I get it. We're okay._ It must show on his face because Finn's mouth widens into a gentle smile, and he pulls Sami's hand upwards, tilting his head down gingerly to kiss Sami's knuckles. Sami feels like he would float away if it wasn't for Finn's hand in his, solid and heavy and warm, and he wonders how it's possible to feel this full all the time. 

Even as the Demon takes residence, electric blue eyes startling against the black paint, Sami still feels _Finn_ in their clasped hands and the way he brushes his knuckles across Sami's cheekbone before heading out the door. "Kick his ass," Sami finds himself whispering at his retreating back, and the shake of his shoulders in silent laughter makes Sami smile widely. He walks over to the nearest screen in the backstage area, where Becky and Charlotte are watching Sasha and Bayley's match with baited breath. "This is amazing," Becky informs him when he stands next to her. He watches the rest of the match with them, cheering as Bayley keeps fighting, and when she's announced as the champion the backstage erupts. Apollo's joy is infectious, and Sami finds himself jumping with Apollo and high-fiving everyone he encounters. When he catches Finn's eye, he sees a small smile on the corner of his mouth, more Finn than Bálor, and he hopes that he will get to celebrate Finn's win with as much delight later. 

The buoyancy doesn't last, however, because the match with Kevin is just as brutal as Sami feared it would be. He's glad that he's got Bayley, with her new title slung over her shoulder, sitting next to him and holding his hand as they watch. He inhales sharply when Finn runs out of the ring to attack Kevin, who is trying to drag a ladder, and his throat constricts when Kevin uses the the ladder to push Finn against the apron. Sami winces as Kevin pushes the ladder into Finn twice before running to get some momentum, and he feels like he's forgotten how to breathe until Kevin stops running at the last minute and just punches Finn instead. Every time Kevin slams Finn against something—the mat, a turnbuckle, the barricade, a ladder—Sami's eyes water and his throat burns, but Bayley's hand is solid in his and he tries to moor himself to her steady breaths. 

When Finn picks Kevin up and swings him over his head and onto a ladder, Bayley whistles and squeezes Sami's hand harder, grinning at him. They breathe more easily until Kevin powerbombs Finn against the apron, a move that makes Sami's shoulder ache, and watching Finn writhe in pain has never been quite this difficult for him before. It isn't any better when Kevin kicks Finn in the head and he goes limp as he falls, and Bayley actually has to pull Sami back down to his seat next to her. "He's got this," she murmurs. "It's okay, Sami. Look, he's already moving again." When Finn knocks Kevin off the ladder, and climbs with his back to the ladder, Sami prepares himself for the _Coup de Grâce_ that follows with a deep breath. _Don't get distracted, Finn,_ Sami implores. _Don't focus on Kevin. Focus on the title._ As if he can hear Sami's words, Finn scrambles up to the top of the ladder and releases the title, dropping to his elbows at the top of the ladder while the crowd erupts into cheers and Sami's whole world explodes. 

Bayley's screaming next to him, her voice hoarse, and Becky's pulling Sami into a side hug as she repeats _fuck yeah, Fergal, YES_ like a litany under her breath. He jumps around with Apollo again, but there's less room for joy in his chest because there is so much relief there instead. The air feels only slightly thinner in his lungs when Kevin walks backstage, and he watches with mild interest as people walk over to congratulate Kevin on a great match. It's not until he's extending a hand to Kevin that he realizes that all he's feeling is a faint anger, the kind that simmers under your skin but doesn't quite boil, and the surprise in Kevin's face is almost as gratifying as their unsteady handshake. He feels Kevin's eyes on him for a few more minutes, but then Finn's walking in and grinning at Sami with the mischievous gaze he's missed so much. They high-five before pulling each other into a quick hug, and Finn turns his head slightly to press his lips against Sami's hairline, making him smile and duck his head. The moment is brief—there are too many people around them—but it carries Sami until they're both back in Finn's dressing room and they can cling to one another. 

"It's done," Finn sighs into Sami's collarbone before pressing a kiss there. "It's over and I've still got the belt." 

"My champion," Sami murmurs in return, smearing paint all over his hand as he caresses Finn's face, and he knows that it doesn't come out as playful as he intended when Finn's eyes widen and his hands tighten on Sami's hips. 

"You need to stop calling me that in public," Finn rasps, pressing himself closer to Sami, and Sami chuckles a touch nervously. "I mean it," Finn continues, scraping the side of Sami's neck with his teeth. "I find it hard to stay focused when you say things like that." 

Sami hears himself whimper slightly, and the curve of Finn's smile against his neck makes it clear he heard it too. "Then maybe it's time for you to not focus," Sami whispers, one of his hands trailing down Finn's abs. "Maybe you just let go." 

Finn groans, stretching upwards so that Sami's hand is pressing against the front of his trunks instead. "You're going to kill me," he gasps, and Sami laughs quietly, pulling away. 

"The French don't call it _the little death_ for nothing you know," he throws over his shoulder, walking over to the counter to start wiping body paint off himself. He looks back at Finn, who's still leaning against the door, and smiles. "The faster you get that paint off you and change, the faster we can go, you know." 

"You bloody tease," Finn complains, but the fact that he's still a little breathless gives Sami a thrill—as does the kiss he plants on the corner of Sami's mouth before he heads off to shower. Sami rubs at his skin in small circles with the wipes, letting his thoughts roam. It's still a little stressful, sometimes, to let himself be playful and forward around Finn, but he enjoys Finn's clear delight so much that he's becoming braver. And Finn knows that, so he encourages Sami with noises and touches and then rewards him later, showering with praise that makes Sami ache for more and quiets his head for at least a while. When Finn comes back, hair still wet, Sami looks up at him through the mirror and smiles, his eyes crinkling. Finn walks over to him, adoration in his gaze, and Sami turns around right as Finn reaches him. Finn takes Sami's face in his hands and kisses him thoroughly, insistently, pressing him against the edge of the counter, and Sami pulls Finn closer by the belt loops, leaning forward to kiss him harder until Finn's gasping into his mouth. He runs his hands up Finn's sides as he softens the kiss, then plants his hands on Finn's chest to push him back a little and give himself some space. 

"Let's get out of here?" he asks, his voice rougher than expected. 

" _Fuck yeah_ ," Finn breathes, blinking slowly, and Sami feels his face heat up under Finn's scrutiny. The heat spreads as they walk out—Sami can feel Finn's eyes roaming all over his body and it makes him itch to reach out and touch Finn everywhere. His thoughts are hazy as they make their way back to the hotel, and it's not until they're pressing each other into every available vertical surface in their room that he comes back to himself. He flips the light switch with one hand while the other tugs at Finn's hair to angle his head so he can sink his teeth into the spot where Finn's shoulder meets his neck, making Finn hiss. Sami can see the title glinting on the bed, and Finn's jacket draped over a chair, and he slides his hands down Finn's back before slipping them under his shirt while his mouth soothes the sting of his bite. Finn is leaning back to give Sami easier access, but Sami pulls at his shirt to get him to stand straight so he can reverse their positions and press Finn against the wall instead. 

"Sami," Finn whines low in his throat, drawing out the first syllable in that lilting way that Sami loves, and Sami blinks at him in the dim light. Finn's lips, swollen and red, are parted, and his breath is coming in soft gasps that make his chest quiver. When Sami starts unbuttoning his shirt, Finn's eyes flutter closed, his eyelashes golden against his flushed cheeks, and Sami takes the opportunity to press his lips gently to each eyelid even as he slides the shirt off Finn's shoulders. He kisses every freckle he can find on Finn's shoulders and chest and, when Sami nibbles on his collarbone, Finn's knees buckle.

"I've got you," Sami whispers, licking over the marks his teeth left behind. 

"For fuck's sake," Finn drawls, "if you don't get us both naked soon I'm going to come in my pants like a bloody schoolboy." 

Sami chuckles. "Oh, Finn, c'mon. I'm not even touching you yet." 

" _Exactly_ ," he replies, opening his eyes and raising an eyebrow.

The sass doesn't distract Sami—Finn's pupils are blown wide and he's as taut as a bow string—and he drops to his knees in one fluid move as his fingers make quick work of Finn's button and zipper. He looks up at Finn as he tugs pants and briefs down, and the hunger in Finn's stare when they make eye contact has Sami digging his fingers into Finn's thighs to regain some sort of composure. 

" _Sami_ ," Finn repeats, a pleading edge to his voice, and Sami wastes no time and takes him into his mouth. Finn moans, a high and needy sound, and his tilts his head back hard enough that the frame next to his head shakes. Sami's about to ask him if he's okay when he feels one of Finn's hands tangle in his hair, tugging lightly, and he smiles even as he pulls back a little to swirl his tongue around the head off Finn's cock. He has Finn whimpering in no time, overwhelming him with his hands and mouth, and the litany of curses—mixed with Sami's name in every possible tone—that spills from his mouth has Sami straining against his own pants. A growly moan is his warning that Finn's reaching his release, and Sami looks up just in time to watch him fall apart, eyes closed and every muscle tensing. Sami swallows around him, hands clenching on Finn's thighs as he watches him lose himself. When Finn opens his eyes, blinking down at him as he gasps for breath, Sami jumps up and presses him against the wall to help him remain upright. 

" _Jesus_ , love," Finn groans, tangling his other hand in Sami's hair, and he laughs and hides his face against Finn's shoulder. 

"Congratulations," he murmurs. "I'm so fucking proud of you." 

He strokes Sami's hair, sighing. "Couldn't have done it without you. Did it for you. For us." Sami shudders, kissing Finn's shoulder, and Finn gently tugs at Sami's hair to angle his head so he can meet his gaze. "And now I've got something else to do for you." 

Sami grins despite the blush he can feel deepening all over his face and neck and ears. "Is that so?" 

"Oh yeah," Finn murmurs, diving in for a kiss. "I might be tired, but I'm not too tired to show you the perks of dating the NXT champion." 

He laughs brightly, stealing a kiss, then pulls Finn away from the wall. "Show me why you're my champion, then," Sami grinds out as they tumble onto the bed, and it's the last intelligible noise he makes in a long while. 

***

Autumn has always been one of Sami's favorite things in the world, but it's not until he spends it with Finn that he realizes just how incredible it can be. The temperature never quite reaches the crispness he loves in the Montréal air, but he gets to snuggle with Finn on the couch anyway so he counts it as a win. They drink non-alcoholic cider and try to bake with Bayley and try a different tea variety every week, drinking out of the silly mugs Finn keeps getting them whenever Sami reaches a milestone rehabbing his shoulder. They still drive out to the coast whenever they can, but now they sit together on benches and close their eyes, fingers linked, each imagining the coast they know best from their childhood before opening their eyes and looking at the one they get to share with each other. Sami maps out every inch of Finn's skin, memorizes how Finn likes to be touched, and learns the meaning of every sound that escapes Finn's mouth when they're exploring one another. 

He finds that Finn never takes sugar in his tea, that he prefers to crank up the air conditioning so they can cuddle under the blankets, and that the only thing that lights up his face more than talking about something he's excited about is the way he looks at Sami. He loves the way they dance around each other as they figure out their relationship, and he doesn't think he will ever get tired of the way Finn visibly brightens whenever Sami tells him he loves him. And when Sami's finally cleared to start practicing in the ring again, he relishes in sparring with Finn because he knows he can trust Finn to push him hard and make him a better wrestler but also keep him safe. He loves the way Finn cradles Sami's face in his hands afterwards, telling Sami how incredible he is and how proud he makes him, and Sami can feel his shoulders settle into something more solid and confident as he walks around the Performance Center. Every time Hunter mentions the main roster Sami gets more and more nervous, but Finn's unshakable faith in him makes him think that maybe he does deserve this after all—and, in the meantime, he can hang on to the way Finn introduces him as his partner with pride and joy. He's not sure what's next, but he knows that what they have is more precious than any jewel and that, as Finn has told him from that first kiss, _it will keep_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, this installment is complete! I hope the length of it made up for the wait! Please tell me what you think and let me know if you have any requests for what I should include in the next part... which I've already begun... because these two own my life right now.

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for sapphoisburning and magicmalcolm, whose feedback on the first piece helped me tackle the second. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!  
> ♥L.


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